You are not alone in this scenario. Getting your man to feel that he’s needed is a very common goal for the majority of females out there. Depending on his particular needs, you, along with his family and friends, can give him a substantial emotional boost.
Yes, men have emotions too.
Well, most men have emotions, even if they don’t openly display them. This is pretty contrary to the stereotype that dictates that men are simply physical and work-hard creatures, but in reality they are not. Therefore, let him know that he is more than welcome to talk about his “feelings” (yes, another contradiction, I know) at any time and that it makes him absolutely no less of a man.
Actions can speak louder than words.
While your words can be of great benefit, they won’t stand on their own. Back them up by giving your boyfriend/husband actual examples of how you really need him. Leave notes on the bathroom mirror where he shaves, prepare an awesome meal for him often, or just let him verbally know that he is needed and that nobody can replace him.
Don’t be afraid of letting him provide for you.
This does not mean acting as if your every breath depends on his presence; instead, it means letting and even encouraging him to do nice things for you that you would not normally do (e.g., do some remodeling, give your car a complete tune-up, or take care of the kids more). Things like that should reinforce the notion in his head that you really do need him and would rather be lost without him.
Cooking…
If he has any culinary abilities whatsoever, lovingly ask him to cook for you every once in a while—maybe on days that you’ve worked hard or when you’re particularly down and out.
Make him more versatile.
Another great idea is to share any hobbies or work-related ideas with him. Get his take on the subject, ask for constructive criticism, and actually recognize that he is a big help.
When things escalate…
Maybe you have a man who is quite often in a bad mood and has a hard time controlling his temper at times. While this could be indicative of greater problems, as heated as it may get, try to never get defensive and always try to stay calm and do your best to diffuse the situation.
Background…
Taking a slightly more psychological POV on it, men (generally) need to feel needed by their women because of a natural feeling of “not feeling like he’s good enough for you,” and they are never 100% sure that you are totally and irrevocably happy and secure with them. He might even be 99.9% secure with you, but there is always, at the very least, that tiny bit of doubt that might make him insecure.
More concisely, your man needs to know that he is the only one for you, as men are, by nature, very competitive with other males for dominance. So it all comes down to choosing your words and your actions positively.
